This one is personal…

I’m not gonna lie. At this point in time, being an art teacher and spending time with my students in our art studio, even on the most challenging of days, is my happy place. I don’t know what that says about me, but frankly, I’m not sure that I care. I love my job. I love teaching. I love watching students be creative and get in the zone. I love it when their excitement over what they are making takes over and they don’t want to leave, so they ask if I can talk to their next period teacher so they can stay. It shows me that what I am doing good things, and the space I’ve created is a place they want to be.

It’s not always easy. Admin drives me crazy at times. As, I’m sure, it does for everyone. A couple of years ago, I lost a role I had as fine arts department chair. It was a position I loved and was extremely important to me. It was a role that I helped to create, and that I took very seriously. It was a hugely deflating moment for me. I was offered a different, unpaid, position, that I reluctantly accepted, but turns out I am really good at. (I’m sure this is no surprise to anyone that actually knows me.) Last year I was given an additional planning period to do this job, which at times was not enough. This year, I only have my single planning period, and it definitely isn’t enough, and I haven’t done all I would like, but I’ve kept at it and I hope that others are still finding that sense of community I hope my position brings to our campus. It doesn’t replace what I lost, but it helps to fill my cup in a different way, I guess.

I am nearing the end of my 19th year. I’ve never taught anywhere else. I’ve thought about it, but the grass is always greener. Or at least that’s what they say. I often wonder why I stay. I wonder would I be as successful at another school. Would I continue to love my job and continue to want to go to work when I wake up? Would I be okay with starting over from the bottom and working my way back up? My answer always comes back to wanting to stay regardless of the stuff that frustrates me and that I won’t find what I have and love elsewhere. I show up every day and my students constantly make my day brighter. They help to fill my cup even on my most trying days. It’s them I think of when I am questioning my career and staying where I am at. And they help me to realize this is what I love and I am really good at it.

I’m not sure what the real point of this post was. I began to write it last year and never finished it. There is no teaching advice or TAB stories in it. There are no pedagogical strategies. It’s just the thoughts that have been playing over and over in my head since August of 2024. Maybe the point was to make myself feel justified in my decisions to do the things I do as a teacher and leader. Maybe it was to have another teacher read my rambling and find similarities in their own thoughts, then feel seen. I know education these days is hard. I know this time of year is hard. I know it moves fast. I know you are tired. I am too. But believe me, it’s worth it. A friend told me a story about a man who the first thing he told her about himself was that he won some art contest in 5th grade. We matter. We make a difference. We are worth it. Remember that when you are having a rough day. I know I do.